Tuesday, May 19, 2009

it's all in my head

so, I've written little for Bloodlines but I've dreamed and dreamed and imagined. OMG, how terrible for Rachel:a dungeon and not your Hollywood one but ewww, human waste (read poos and weeze), cold, very cold, little light. Then, her going 'what the....?' I see it all. I hear the conversations and can picture the senarios but, I do not have the time to record for I must mother, be wife, teach children. All good things. And, let me tell you, all of those enclosed in the previous sentence suck dry every part of me.

I am torn. I wish that it was not on my shoulders alone that I ferry my whanau through their day; I wish that it was not I who must ensure that said whanau is kept (financially) afloat. I did not get a Creative New Zealand Grant for Banquo's Son (you're kidding? Nup!) which means I, the sole organiser of our wonderful family unit needs to look elsewhere to keep us afloat.

Elmo speak: Me tired. Me cry. Me sleep.
Night night


Anonymous said...

Poor Mrs R. But remember who got you started on this journey he won't let you go under! When this all comes together and Creative Nz feels so bad you can write and autobiography and say how terrible it was to write these amazing novels with out any support....
Lots of love and prayers
From imogen

Rod Duncan said...

A story's drive to be told isn't always comfortable. Especially when there are all those other things that really, really need doing.

But I guess that's what makes you are real writer - that despite all the obstacles, you press on and do the story justice.

All the very best to you.

fleance (aka TK Roxborogh) said...

Ah, but Imogen, I have and continue to have support: from you guys and Vicki and all my friends.

Rod - thanks for stopping by. Tis true about it often being hard. Shall post a quote from Robin Hyde about her struggle.