Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Procrastination has come for a visit, dammit!

Okay, so I was allowed a couple of days rest what with the end of a very busy term and the launch of the book. And, yesterday and today, presenting the writing workshop to the lovely group of students. And, my study is ready, the whiteboard filled with lists and goals and inspiration and the hubby and kids have (esp the eldest who has read both Banquo's Son and Bloodlines over the past five days - and gave them the big thumbs up!) given me permission to set myself apart and just WRITE.

Yes. Hmm. Well, the first time I did this, I was not on FaceBook. And, I didn't get the volume of emails and queries I do now. My email traffic has double quadrupled in the past 12 months. I have a website as well. I have won an award. I am more known than I have ever been.

So, like now, writing this for you, I am avoiding doing that which I must do. The first chapter of Birthright (if I take again the analogy of art) has been sketched out with charcoal and many of the details of the scene are in. There is some colour and a couple of places which are vibrant.

The problem? The muse is there alright but there are, what I call, the anti-muses. These wee buggers have different personalities but they do the same thing - they tell me I can't possibly pull this off: you're not a good enough writer; you are neglecting your family; you should do the housework (this one needs to be hunted down and eradicated); your fans need you - you must update the blog and the facebook page; this story is not going to work; you should be exercising (I hate this one but I kinda think it's got a point); your friends miss you; you're a better teacher than a writer; why don't you take a break, Tania? You work so hard all of the time. Wouldn't you like to just spend the next two weeks lying on the sofa reading, watching DVDs and eating pasta? (okay, I really, really like this one but my muse hates it the most and, really, I should trust her cos she's got me this far...)

I look back on what I achieved with Banquo’s Son in such a short time and I know I am much more ahead than that. But, I do want this to be so good, so very very good, in the writing. The story is going to be fantastic – promise – but I want it breath-taking for the reader.

It is wonderful that I am already getting responses from readers. Wonderful Louise, whom I wrote about last year, told me at the launch that Bloodlines was even better than Banquo’s Son (and I loved Banquo’s Son she said). My astute eldest says the same. Bloodlines is very good. I want Birthright to be even better. No pressure.

So, dear reader (and, you too, Tania), time to get off line and back to that banquet hall and deal to a whole lot of stuff which is going to go down. Poor Flea. This time, however, I think you might just go, hooyeah!

PS should I mention the teacher's curse? Healthy all term and then what happens? Yes, I have developed a rather nasty chest infection. Just grateful my head is all good.

1 comment:

Vanda Symon said...

Oh the procrastination bug. Damn catchy too. Did you know that self-sabotage can be quite the art form? I read your inner muse's thoughts about two weeks, DVD's and pasta and my soul sang. Thank you oh so much for planting that seed...